Nathan has been having some pretty severe meltdowns for almost two years. He will yell, curse, hit, punch, kick and whatever he feels like doing in the middle of a meltdown. These meltdowns usually have to do with transitions. In school it can be ending language arts and moving to math, or a therapist coming to see him at the wrong time. At home it can happen after we tell him to get off the computer for dinner, or finish playing a game to do homework. Anytime we are leaving the house, we are sure to have a meltdown.
We have tried many things to deal with these meltdowns, we have tried punishment, we have tried talking calmly to him, we’ve tried yelling back. Nothing has worked. And the meltdowns can last up to an hour at times.
We recently started seeing a family training therapist. She told us to ignore them. Don’t respond at all. Don’t gasp, don’t punish him, don’t do anything. I was very skeptical. Why would that work, he doesn’t like being punished, he doesn’t like being yelled at?
Well, so far, it IS working. He still has his meltdowns, but when he sees that he’s not getting a reaction out of us, he will come look at us to make sure we’re hearing him, then he just stops. I am still trying to work out what to do when we HAVE to do something and he has a meltdown. For example, if I tell him to come to dinner and he starts yelling and cursing at me, it doesn’t matter if it takes him 5-10 minutes to get his yelling out before finally coming to dinner. But when we have to go to school, we have to go to school. The therapist said in those instances, just force him to do it, which I have been doing but that makes the meltdown last much longer.
Anyone else have any luck dealing with autism meltdowns? I am really hoping for a great year at school, and don’t want this to continue for another year!
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| Believe it or not, this guy can get pretty angry sometimes, his therapist says to just ignore meltdowns that's not always easy |
We recently started seeing a family training therapist. She told us to ignore them. Don’t respond at all. Don’t gasp, don’t punish him, don’t do anything. I was very skeptical. Why would that work, he doesn’t like being punished, he doesn’t like being yelled at?
Well, so far, it IS working. He still has his meltdowns, but when he sees that he’s not getting a reaction out of us, he will come look at us to make sure we’re hearing him, then he just stops. I am still trying to work out what to do when we HAVE to do something and he has a meltdown. For example, if I tell him to come to dinner and he starts yelling and cursing at me, it doesn’t matter if it takes him 5-10 minutes to get his yelling out before finally coming to dinner. But when we have to go to school, we have to go to school. The therapist said in those instances, just force him to do it, which I have been doing but that makes the meltdown last much longer.
Anyone else have any luck dealing with autism meltdowns? I am really hoping for a great year at school, and don’t want this to continue for another year!
My oldest has Asperger's syndrome and I have had to deal with many meltdowns! The best way to cope with Jake is to give him a warning of transitions that will happen. He doesn't like to be surprised about anything out of his route I found that "warning " him in advance helps him prepare himself for what is about to occur. It's can be as simple as telling him he is getting a haircut in Sunday of that he has a dr appointment on Wednesday as long as he feels prepared fog the situation I feel it goes smoother.
ReplyDeleteHi Becky! Have you used timers with Nathan? Something simple, like a watch, or an actual, digital countdown timer? For kids who struggle with transitions, timers can be great. You set the amount of time in advance, discuss it, and provide several reminders ("Just as a reminder, you have five minutes left" "This is your two minute warning").
ReplyDeleteAt camp, this is one of the biggest difficulties we face (not just with Nathan - with most of our campers). Going over the schedule and expectations frequently, giving a few warnings before a preferred activity is going to end, and using timers is extremely helpful. Don't get me wrong - there are still meltdowns! But hey, if it can prevent even 20% of the meltdowns, or if it can reduce the length/severity of the meltdown, it's worth a shot!
Thanks Cathy and Samantha! We definitely give warnings and used to use timers. I think we need to get back to that. At least with timer he can get mad at the timer instead of me. (We stopped using it because he would just reset the timer!)
ReplyDeleteThis is great for awareness, Becky. Melts downs are part of your life but for others who are not accustom to it this can appear as misbehaving. I think this adds to the difficulty for the family. If people are aware that this is a part of this disorder they will understand more.... Great blog!
DeleteIf resetting is a problem, maybe a digital watch (and you could just say what time the transition will be) would work better. As you said - at least he can get angry at the timer/watch!
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