Going to do the doctor is almost always stressful. When you're taking a child with autism, it's beyond stressful. I usually have a long list of things I want to discuss- I literally make a list. But usually by the time we get to see the doctor I'm already overwhelmed and even dripping with sweat!
My mom usually comes with me to the doctor to help me out. She started doing this when the kids were babies, and still meets me there now that the kids are older.
The waiting room used to be really stressful. When Nathan was younger, he would run around the waiting room, touch other people, look at other children's toys, or even steal their toys. He would try to get behind the reception desk to use the office computers. I would chase him around trying to offer him a toy, a book, a snack, anything to catch his attention. Now that he's older, he usually goes to a table with books, plays with the toys the office leaves out, or just comes and sits by me and looks at his iPad.
Then the nurse calls his name, Nathan usually doesn’t respond, so I need to gather up everything we brought with us, including Nathan. The nurse takes us to an end of a hallway where she weighs him, and gets his height. This should be super simple. It’s not. Nathan takes off his own shoes and gets on the scale with no problem, but our office has an electronic scale so Nathan wants to touch all the buttons. Getting him to stand still with his hands by his side long enough for the scale to get an accurate weight isn’t easy. Eventually he does it. Then we get his height. He has to stand up straight with his back against the wall and his feet all the way against the wall. I usually have to get on the floor and help him push his heels all the way back. Nathan never stands up straight. He usually slumps over with his head down. After I make sure his heels are against the wall, I stand up and help him push his shoulders against the wall and hold his head straight so the nurse can get his height.
If he’s at the doctor a for physical it’s time for a blood pressure and hearing test. He sits in the chair without an issue but hates the blood pressure cuff. He tries to rip it off and doesn’t want to sit still. I explain to him if he can sit still for 30 seconds and not move it will be over. Sometimes that works, others we have to do it a few times. Now for the hearing test. The nurse will explain the test to him, but he won’t listen. So I’ll say, “Nathan when you hear a noise in the headphones, you need to tell us which ear you hear it in by pointing to that ear.” At first he usually doesn’t do anything. Then I have to say, “Nathan can you hear anything?”
Then he will say, “I hear a beep in my left ear.” He doesn’t point to the ear he hears the beeping in, he tells us which ear it is- “left ear”, “right ear”, “right ear”, “left ear”.
Nathan wears glasses, so we don’t even try the eye test. He goes to the eye doctor often, so they just mark on his chart the date of his latest eye exam.
Now it’s finally time to go into the exam room. If Nathan is getting a physical he has to take off his clothes and put on a hospital gown. He hates this. He hates the feeling of the fabric, he hates the strings that you tie to hold it together. He hates feeling cold. He hates everything about it, and will try to take it off repeatedly until the exam is over. He doesn’t like the paper on the exam table. He doesn’t like the bright fluorescent lights, and sometimes I let him turn the lights off while we wait. I try to distract him with a book, his iPad, my phone, telling stories, whatever.
When the doctor comes in, Nathan usually welcomes him to the room. We have been going to the same pediatrician for years, and Nathan really likes him. He doesn’t like being examined though. He doesn’t like when the doctor looks in his ear. I usually stand next to him and help hold his head still, because he will jerk his head away and then it will hurt. He hates opening up and saying “Ahhhhhhh….” especially when he’s sick and knows he needs a throat culture. He will clench his mouth closed and refuse to open, gag and scream. Usually it’s during the screaming that they will get the throat culture, but it takes a team effort. If he’s not sick, he will do it, because he knows they won’t need to do a throat culture.
Several times throughout the exam Nathan will ask if he can get dressed again. Finally he will be done and it will be time for the doctor and I to go through my list of questions. My mom will help Nathan get his clothes and shoes back on and help him get his iPad or a book to help calm him after the examination. But usually he's so hyper after getting examined, he will need to run. So, he will run around the room and flap his arms.
When it’s time to leave, my mom takes the boys back to the waiting room while I pay, get any prescriptions we may need or make follow up appointments.
Going to the doctor is an important part of life, not only when you're sick but also when you're healthy. I have explained this to Nathan, but that doesn't mean he has to like it. So next time you see a child in a waiting room running, screaming, refusing to sit down, and his mother running around after him offering him anything that might satisfy him, don't assume it's a spoiled, out of control child or bad parenting. There may be something else going on.
