Autism Advocacy- My Other Full-Time Job

I've told you before, I don't like the word no, especially when it comes to my children.  A therapist at Westchester Jewish Community Services (WJCS) learned that the hard way yesterday.

If you tell my child can't do something,
you better be prepared to explain yourself!

Nathan has been going to a social skills class at WJCS for the last two years.  The 12 week classes are held during the school year.  One session is in the fall-winter.  Then they take a break for the month of February and resume for the Spring.  I've been calling and e-mailing for weeks to find out what day of the week Nathan's class will be held in the fall.  Finally, Nathan's group leader from last spring called me yesterday morning.  She told me that she doesn't think Nathan should continue with social skills, because he isn't interacting with the other kids.  She said he needs too much prompting to engage. She suggested he get 1-on-1 help from an ABA therapist.  Oh, and by the way, she's leaving WJCS and her last day is Friday.

I was really taken aback, the whole purpose of a social skills class is to teach him how to interact with other kids.  Also, she had called me at the end of the spring session and said that she thought a different group would be more appropriate for him because the kids he was with last time were older than him and he didn't interact with them much.  At the time, I said that was fine and to let me know which group he would be in.

I told her, I have been reaching out to various organizations for ABA and have been told 1 of 2 things- either they had no therapists available to work with Nathan, or that Nathan is too old, or too advanced for ABA.  I asked the woman why she was "giving up on Nathan".

Nathan is good friends with his brother, Drew, but has
a hard time relating to other children

This seemed to annoy her and said she wasn't giving up on him and that she had suggested an alternative- ABA therapy.  She then said a conversational social skills group was just not appropriate for Nathan.

Whoa, wait a minute, when did he join a conversations social skills group?  As far as I knew, he was in a play and friendship group, of course a conversations group would be too advanced for him, he’s still working on learning how to make friends and play with other kids.  Having a conversation is WAY too advanced.

She said they moved him to the conversations group for the spring session.  Now, I was mad.

I told her that is unacceptable that first of all, he was moved to a different group without anyone informing me and secondly that he was obviously struggling through the 12 week session and no one told us about that either.

She said he was moved because there were only 4 kids in play and friendship group so they moved all the kids to other groups.  She said the play and friendship group no longer exists.  Then she said she would check with her boss to see if there was another group that was more appropriate for Nathan.

Less than five minutes later, she called back and said there is, actually, still a play and friendship group that meets on Thursdays.  She said Nathan can join that group.

I am very confused.  I don’t know why Nathan was moved, why this woman wanted to remove him from the class, and why she didn’t check to see if there was a more appropriate class.  I think a lot of it has to do with her leaving and not wanting to look into other options for Nathan.  If I had just accepted what she told me, Nathan would be the one losing out.

When you have a child with autism, or another special need, advocating for your child is a full time job.  One second everything is fine, then the next, something happens to throw everything off.  Although I don’t like hearing the word no, I have no problem saying it!  If someone tells you your child can’t do something- don’t accept it without finding out why and what the alternatives are, and if you don’t agree with the alternatives, SAY NO!  Demand a solution that suits your child’s needs, not what is convenient or easy for someone else.