Let's Support Each Other and Stop The Shaming

Lane Graves was attacked and killed by an alligator
at the Grand Floridian Resort and Spa at Walt Disney World

Most days, I love my job.  As a TV news executive producer, it's something different every day.  But some stories hit me harder than others.  I've been known to break down in tears in the newsroom because a story hits too close to home.  Recently there was a story about a two-year-old boy who was attacked and killed by an alligator at Walt Disney World.  This story made me physically sick for a number of reasons-
1. A precious baby boy is dead, and his family was left broken.
2. Walt Disney World is my happy place.  Nothing this sad should happen there.
3. When my kids were little, they played in the sand along the water at several Walt Disney World resort hotels.
4. I used to live in Florida and I know that where there's water, there are alligators.
5. The awful reaction on social media.  Nameless, faceless people behind a phone or a computer pointing fingers and laying blame- mostly at the parents.

This reaction hit me very hard, because it reminded me of all the shaming that happens among autism parents.  It seems odd.  It seems like we should all be able to support each other and build each other up.  After all, no one knows more about our daily struggles than another parent, right?  Why do we have to judge other parents?  Why do we have to question every move they make?  WHY???

Over the last 9 years as an autism parent, I've seen parents shamed and belittled for trying special diets or biomedical treatments.  I've heard parents "attacking" other parents for their support of Autism Speaks or other autism organizations.  I've seen parents shake their heads in disgust at other parents who decided to take a break completely from all therapies and treatments or who delayed getting a diagnosis.  I've seen parents get angry when someone suggests finding a "cause" or a "cure" for autism.  I've heard parents question other parents for their decision to medicate or not medicate their children.

Being a parent is hard, being a parent of a child with special needs is beyond hard.  I know I'm not perfect.  I'm always second guessing myself.  The LAST thing I need is SOMEONE else shaming me too!  But I do the best I can, and I think other parents are just trying to make the best decisions for their children and their families.

Despite all this judgement that can come with being a special needs mom, I think it's the exception rather than the rule.  There are also some truly amazing people who have come into my life because of Nathan and his autism.  From teachers, aides, therapists and doctors who I now consider friends, to other moms who have become my family (believe it or not, I've never even met many of them!).

"The Special Needs Mom Show" is a new podcast for
moms of kids with special needs.  It will debut in September 2016

One of those friends has asked me to co-host a new podcast with her.  It's called "The Special Needs Mom Show" and it will premiere in September!  While we prepare for the big debut, we are also building a Facebook community.  It's a judgement free zone for moms of kids with special needs, so we can take care of our own special needs!  Click here to join!

So, next time you're tempted to judge other parents, maybe give them the benefit of the doubt first?  They may be just like me and you.  They may be filled with self-doubt and just trudging through life and trying to make the best of every day.