Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish all my family, friends, and readers a very Happy Thanksgiving.  It's been a tough few weeks.  The attacks in Paris, the downing of a Russian jet and other terror attacks around the world have reminded us how vulnerable we still are and that terrorists still want to attack our way of life.  It's also been a reminder of why we celebrate this holiday.  We will not give in to the terrorist, we will not cower in fear, we will live our lives, and we will be thankful for all the gifts in our lives.

For my family, Thanksgiving is a little weird this year.  We are so close to our Walt Disney World holiday vacation that we've been planning for over a year!  We actually leave tomorrow.  So, today, I am working, Jason and the kids are having dinner at our friends' house, and my parents are hanging out at home- cleaning, decorating for Christmas and making final preparations for our trip.  We are looking forward to being together and celebrating an early Christmas with my aunt, uncle and two cousins, but today is still weird to not be celebrating on Thanksgiving.  But we are all still thankful for so many wonderful gifts God has blessed us with.  (I'm not going to bore you with the list of things we're thankful for- believe me, it's long!)

I'm sorry I disappeared for a little bit- I was just really busy getting ready for the trip and preparing for Christmas (when we get back there will be only 2 and a half weeks until Christmas!!!) and after everything that was going on the world and covering crazy news at work, I just needed a break.  Get ready for some major trip reports, including traveling with autism, traveling with large groups, eating gluten free, and more!  I can't even count how many times we've been to Walt Disney World, but this time, we are trying a lot of new things and it's our first time going while everything is decorated for Christmas.  This trip is combining three of my favorite things- Christmas, Disney and family- so I'm sure I'll have a lot to tell you about!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Expect the Unexpected

Every school year, it takes Nathan about 6 weeks to get used to the routine at school.  The first 6 weeks are usually difficult, but like a switch at 6 weeks everything gets much better.  It's been like that since preschool.  Like many people with autism, transitions have always been difficult for Nathan.

11 weeks after school started, Nathan has
dealt with a lot of changes, and more are on the way

This year was no different.  The first six weeks were hard.  Officially, he has the same teacher he has last year, but she's been out on maternity leave since school started.  He had a fill in teacher for the first nine weeks of school.  She agreed, that after the first six weeks, everything turned around and did much better academically, behaviorally and socially.

Nathan's teacher comes back next Monday.  But the relief teacher who filled in left a week ago.  So last week and this week, the teacher's assistant is substituting.  Nathan loves him, but he still had quite a few outbursts last week.  Almost every day he cursed at and hit his aide.  We even promised that if he made good choices and didn't act out, we would download an app he's been wanting.  He didn't get the reward.

On Friday, I found out his aide got another job, her last day is this Friday.  So next week, his old teacher will be returning and he will be getting a new aide.  I tried to talk to him about it his aide leaving all weekend.  He is not happy.  He doesn't really want to hear about it or talk about it.

This would be difficult for any class to handle, especially a special education class.  No one is to blame, it's just life.  Sometimes, you have to expect the unexpected.  But you can't tell a child with special needs, "Well, that's life, get over it."

So what can we do?  We are talking to him about it the changes ahead of time.  We are giving him strategies to deal with anxiety when he feels it.  Also, we need to make sure we are patient with him.  Luckily, the teacher who is returning and the teacher's assistant in the classroom both know Nathan very well and are very kind and patient to him.  I know they realize that these changes aren't going to be easy for him and will help him along as well.

You Have to Pick Your Battles

Yesterday was picture day at school.  This is one of the most stressful days of the year.. for me!  My kids wear sweatpants and t-shirts everyday of the year.  If we go to church- they wear sweatpants and t-shirts, if we go to a nice dinner- they wear sweatpants and t-shirts, if we go to a party- they wear sweatpants and t-shirts.  Also, Drew has what we call crazy hair!  He has multiple cowlicks going in all different directions and his hair grows straight out, not straight down!

Nathan's school picture from last year,
4th grade

Every year, it's a fight in the morning to get the kids dressed, their hair fixed and out the door still looking decent.  But this year, I decided to go half way.  I got them to agree to wear sweaters and button down shirts, if I let them wear sweatpants on the bottom.  As Drew said, "No one is going to see my legs anyway."  I've decided somethings are just not worth the fight.  Is it the end of the world if the kids don't wear jeans (or as Nathan calls them- fancy pants) or heaven forbid khakis on school picture day?  Also, I let Drew style his hair, then I came in with the gel after and tried to plaster it down!

Drew's school picture from last year
2nd grade

Nathan had a really rough day the day before so I felt that coming to a compromise first thing in the morning was better than starting the day with an argument.

So, how did it turn out?  I have no idea!  I guess I'll find out when the pictures come.  I'll let you know.

Walt Disney World with Autism

We are getting really close to our Walt Disney World vacation.  I know for families with special needs, a big vacation like this can be daunting.  We first took Nathan to Walt Disney World when he was 3- about a year after he was diagnosed with autism.

Later this month, we'll be heading back
to Nathan's happy place!

For Nathan, there is no place in the world he would rather be than Walt Disney World.  He loves it.  He loves planning our trips, he counts down the days, he engages while we're there, and talks about what we did and saw for months afterward.  This will be Nathan and Drew's 6th visit.

As you're planning your family's trip, keep in mind what he or she can and can't tolerate.  I know there are certain things that Nathan does not handle well- especially anything that can lead to sensory overload- extreme heat, large crowds, and a lot of walking are all very difficult for Nathan.  To deal with the heat, we usually go during cooler months- the spring, winter or fall.  (We did go this past June, but it was a quick trip- just 2 days- and Nathan and I spent a lot of time at the pool!)

The DAS is attached to our magic bands anyone's
band can be scanned to get a return time, but the
disabled person MUST ride when you come back.

Disney helps us deal with crowds and walking with a DAS (disability access service) card.  With provides an alternative waiting area for attractions.  So basically, if we get to a ride and it has a 30 minute wait, we can scan one of our magic bands, then go see a show, ride a different attraction, or take a break for 30 minutes, then come back and go in the FastPass line.  We don't skip the lines (the old GAC- Guest Assistance Card- worked that way) we still have to wait, but we don't have to wait in the line.  We also get a special sticker for Nathan's special needs wheelchair/stroller.  The sticker lets us take the stroller into lines and shows so he doesn't have to stand.

Nathan loves his special needs stroller/wheelchair
it helps him enjoy the parks without getting too
worn out

The hard part with the DAS though is if the disabled person has his/her heart set on riding/seeing a particular attraction right away, he will still have to wait.  We try to get around this by sending my husband to get our DAS return time.  That way we don't take Nathan to the attraction then tell him he can't ride yet.  That would definitely cause a meltdown!  The DAS is for the disabled person and five other people.  Anyone in the party can have their magic band scanned to get the DAS return time, but the person with the DAS must ride in order for everyone else to get on the attraction.

Nathan is not big on meeting characters, but he does like
seeing Lightning McQueen and Mater at Hollywood Studios

If there is something you think your child may be afraid of or anxious about- check out YouTube.  You can see full ride throughs of attractions, shows, fireworks and more.  Nathan does not like roller coasters, we have shown him Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain and other rides on YouTube, but he's still not interested.  But he loves Soarin', Dinosaur, and Test Track after seeing them on YouTube then riding them.  He has always been terrified of fireworks even though he had never even seen them.  Just thinking about them would cause anxiety.  So before the Fourth of July, we started showing him fireworks on YouTube, then on we took him to a display on July 4.  He loved it.  He can't wait to see them at Disney World for the first time later this month!

A lot of families like to surprise their kids with trips to Disney World.  This would not work for us.  Nathan LOVES planning our trips just as much as I do.  But also, he needs to prepare for things mentally.  If we woke up him up in the morning and told him we were going to Disney World that day,  that would cause anxiety for him.  Even though it would be exciting, it would be unexpected and he doesn't handle unexpected very well.

Nathan loved getting a pirate makeover at the Pirates League
and is looking forward to doing it again!

The most important piece of advice I can give you is- be flexible!  With dining reservations, FastPass+ reservations, and showtimes, a lot of your trip can be planned out and you can feel like you're always running.  But when you have a child with special needs, sometimes you need to take unexpected breaks.  If you have to miss a FastPass and take a break it may be worth it in the long run.  If you don't get to see a certain show because it's too hot, take it in stride.  As long as you and your family are having fun, that's what really matters!

If you're thinking of a Walt Disney World vacation for your family, I say DO IT!  Just put a little extra planning into it and remember it's about having fun together.

Top 10- October 2015

It's that time again!  Time to check out the most read blogs of the last month.  This last month was a rough one.  I was busy at home and at work and had a cold that lasted a couple of weeks- so expect to see many more blogs during the month of November- including trip reports from our Walt Disney World vacation beginning the day after Thanksgiving!

The gluten free menu at Six Flags Great Adventure

10- Six Flags Great Adventure Part 2: Gluten Free Report
This blog post from August remains popular.  If you're going to Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey and you're eating gluten free, bring some food with you!

September 29, 2001- our wedding day

9- We Can Weather Any Storm- Together!
This year, my husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary.  It hasn't always been easy but it's definitely worth it and I wouldn't change a second of what we've been through!

The kids at Our Victory Day Camp

8- We Are The Champions
Consistently in the top 10, in this blog, I explain why Our Victory Day Camp has changed Nathan's life!  The people from this special needs summer camp have become like part of our family!

Just some of the paperwork I have to deal with

7- I'm Drowning.. In Paperwork
Being a parent of a special needs child means you have tons of paperwork- reports, records, evaluations- the list goes on and on!  And anyone can cal you at anytime asking for one specific report.

The FastPass+ page on the My Disney
Experience app

6- Disney World and FastPass
Planning a trip to Walt Disney World has gotten a bit more complicated, even for seasoned veterans like us, since the introduction of FastPass+.  In this blog I help you navigate the changes.

I love Nathan for who he is, not what he does and can do

5- It's Not About the Milestones- It's About the Moments
I can't always think too far into the future when it comes to Nathan.  Instead of comparing him to "normal" milestones, I have to take each moment as it comes and celebrate every moment!

I sometimes lie to myself and tell myself I
can do it all

4- I Just Can't Say No
A lot of people have trouble saying no.  I'm one of them.  But I have a hard time telling myself no.  I think I can do it all- but I actually can't.

I will fight for this boy until the day I die

3- An Autism Mom is an Advocate Mom
When it comes to Nathan I will always fight for him and what he needs.  It's not always easy but he's worth the fight!

Nathan's fort took weeks to build, but we all
worked really hard for it

2- Hard Work Pays Off
We all learned a valuable lesson this month- hard work pays off.  Nathan worked really hard to control his emotions and Jason, my dad, and I built him a fort in the backyard.  It took weeks to finish but Nathan's daily meltdowns have been reduced to a couple a week- at most.

My dad and his sister, Brenda, on her wedding day

1- October 3, 1987- The Day Our Lives Changed Forever
On October 3, 1987, my aunt was killed by a drunk driver.  My life, and the lives of the rest of my family members has not been the same since.

Honorable mention:

This wasn't an actual blog post, but a post on my Facebook page.  One night I got home from work to see Nathan's classroom assignment.  He love that he wrote, "I believe in Lauren Messano"- that was his counselor at Our Victory Day Camp.  Hundreds of people have seen this post!