April Showers Bring May Meetings

Spring, brings so much promise.  The flowers are blooming, the birds are singing and summer is just around the corner!  But, for parents of school aged, special needs kids it's also a time a major stress.  Some time between March and June parents get a letter in the mail saying it's time another meeting with the Committee on Special Education (CSE).

This was Nathan on the first day of 5th grade,
now we're planning out what his 6th grade program will look like.

During this meeting, parents, teachers, therapists, school psychologists, and administrators discuss the child's program for the following year (sometimes children also take part in the meeting and advocate for their own education!).  Should he be in a regular classroom setting, an integrated classroom, or in a small self-contained class?  Should he stay in district or be sent to an outside school?  What therapies does the child need and how often?  What goals will he, his teachers and therapists be striving for?  At the end of the meeting, if everyone agrees, you will come up with his Individualized Education Program (IEP).

I'm not going to lie, I hate this time of year.  I actually can't even say which is more stressful- the CSE meeting or the start of a new school year.  But, I also am lucky because Nathan has been in the same school district since kindergarten and our district has always been amazing to him.  We have never asked for something and been denied.  But we're also realistic.  We know that when we ask for something there has to be a reason for it.  We also have to weigh which is more important- adding a new therapy (thus pulling him out of class more often and losing instruction time) or keeping him in class and figuring out another way to get him the help he needs.  Prior to moving to our current district, we lived in 2 other school districts.  Every meeting was contentious, I felt like money was more important than Nathan, and I left every meeting in tears.  Unfortunately, this is common for many parents and many school districts.

Look at all that paperwork!
Nathan's IEP is right on top- for easy access.
That is all related to Nathan and his autism.
(I know, I need to get organized!)

So, if we work so well with the school district, why are these meetings still stressful?  Because it's hard to read the future.  I don't know what Nathan is going to need tomorrow, much less next fall.  Also, every new school year and grade brings new challenges and expectations.  Next year, Nathan starts 6th grade.  In most districts, he would be heading to middle school.  In our district, sixth graders go to the elementary school.  But they still change classes and have multiple teachers.  This is a huge challenge for Nathan.  Getting used to 1 teacher usually takes him about 6 weeks at the beginning of the year.  I've really been worried about how Nathan will handle it.  We considered moving him out of the school district.  We met with advocates who gave us information about outside programs but I didn't find anything that seemed like a good match.

Finally, I came up with an idea!  I spoke with his teachers and officials at the school and asked if we could do a "test run" and see how Nathan would do switching classes.  For several weeks, Nathan went into a class with typical kids for science, then did the same thing for social studies.  His aide went with him.  Amazingly, Nathan did well.  After this test, we all agreed that next year, Nathan will be able to stay in a self contained class for math and English language arts, then switch for science and social studies.

I'm excited and looking forward to this challenge for him, but I'm also a nervous wreck!  What if he can't handle it?  What if the teachers don't have the patience for a child with autism in their classes?  What if no one reads his IEP?  What if he gets bullied and teased by the "typical" kids for being different?  There are tons of what ifs!  I want to protect him and keep him as my little boy forever, but I can't.  I have to challenge him.  I have to push him.  I have to make sure the school continues to push him and challenge him too.  That doesn't mean it's easy.  And it definitely scares the heck out of me.