Just Because You Can't See It, Doesn't Mean It Isn't There!

Have you ever heard of an invisible disability?  There are some people who are in a wheelchair, and others who use a seeing eye dog.  You can look at them and see their disability.  But it's not always so easy to see.

My son, Nathan, has autism.  He is 10-years-old.  Sometimes, I imagine that people look at him and notice there is something different about him.  Sometimes he flaps his hands, or makes a funny squeaking sound, or runs around in a circle with no regard for what's going on around him.  But sometimes, he doesn't.  I don't know which is better.  I want Nathan to fit in, but I also know when he looks "normal" people expect more from him.

Nathan loves to swing.
Sometimes, I'll swing with so we can talk.

Yesterday, my husband took Nathan to a park while our other son, Drew, was at a class.  Nathan loves the park, and especially loves the swings.  But when they arrived, the swings were all taken.  So, they sat at a picnic table and worked on homework.  Eventually a little girl got off one of the swings and sat down in front of it to play in the sand.  Nathan jumped up and ran to the swings.  When he started swinging, he hit the little girl with his foot.  My husband chased behind Nathan and got there just in time to grab his foot so he didn't hit her too hard.  The little girl's grandmother was really upset and told my husband that Nathan was "old enough to know better" and insinuated he was too old for the swings.  My husband apologized and tried to explain that Nathan has autism and doesn't always understand all situations.  She didn't seem to believe him.  Jason truly felt bad.  I understand that the grandmother was probably upset, thinking her grandchild had been hurt.  But, it was an accident.  It sucks, but accidents happen at parks.  Kids get hit by swings.  It's not intentional.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened.  Nathan has low muscle tone and cannot endure a lot of walking, so we use a special needs stroller/wheelchair for Nathan whenever we go any place that involves a lot of walking.  People often give me a look like- why is this large child in a stroller???

I don't understand why we have to be so judgmental.  I hear comments like this a lot at Walt Disney World.  I especially hear people complaining about people who use motorized scooters or ECV's.  There are comments about weight., comments about people abusing the system, comments about them running people over.  Who cares why these people are using a scooter?  We don't know if they have a heart condition, or a bad knee, or are fighting some serious illness.  It's none of our business.

So, maybe if instead of assuming a child is old enough to know better, or wondering why an older kid is using a stroller, or shaming a person using scooter, we should give them benefit of the doubt.  Maybe there's an invisible disability, you and I can't see.  Maybe if we stop judging the people around us, the world would be just a little happier.

Oh, and by the way, you're never too old to go on the swings!